For Laughs:
Christian
Comedy-David & Goliath By De-Graft
Intro:- once upon a time, a king
named saul was being tormented by a gentleman named goliath , so saul sent Samuel( a priest) to
go and look for a warrior who can defeat Goliath.
Ø So Samuel set off in
search of the warrior
Set 1
At Jesse’s House, Samuel an oldman
and holds a stick.
Samuel: kokooko,kokooko,ah na efie kakraka sei, nyimpa eni mu anaa
Jesse: mponkyi na ewo mu, adey here (Samuel
enters)
Samuel: good day sir, how are you
Jesse: am fine my fellow age mate,
wat brings you here?
Samuel: me de3 ka twi na gyae
aborofusem nu. The reason for my visit is because of one guy name goliath. Akoa
nu edi nkwasiesem wo yen su paa. He is like 20 feet tall, his voice makes the
earth shake. He always insults us and calls us monkeys. Se yeye ndui,
kwetwamansa
Jesse: whhhhat ,who is he, how dare
him, abooooowaa..(in lil waynes voice)
Samuel: take it easy before your
tuberculosis come again. That’s why I’ve come to anoint one of your sons to
battle him.
Jesse: eei my son to battle a 20feet
man? Akoa wei wo tsirimu ye dzen. You lemme call them in. Eliab, come with your
brother immediately ( two guys come in)
Samuel: oh very nice and beautiful
gentlemen. They can fight paa from the look of things ba let me examine dem
first (Samuel examines the boys)
Ø He examines first boy
Samuel: hey, you didn’t bath this
morning or this is your God given talent?
1st Son: oluman wei paa,
ah ,I have bathed. Why, will I produce a bathing certificate before I fight a
giant.
Samuel: no but you can’t fight a
giant with a body odour, you are disqualified, akoa wei wonnye neat.
Ø examines the second 2nd
boy
Samuel: hey, abrantie kama kama paa,
hw3 woa motuom, you cant fight. You cant concerntrate with this forest in your
armpit. Disqualified. Ah Jesse, are these all the boys you have?
Jesse: no aaka baako, but he is
smallish like pendrive, he doesn’t eat nor drink, only toffees. For that one
de3, me naa will disqualify him.
Samuel: oh no, send for him
immediately ( Jesse sends one of the boys to go and fetch David, seconds later
they enter stage together with David)
Samuel: is that him(Jesse nods his
head), akoa yi af)w. Gentleman, can you fight and have you fought before?
David: yes I can and I have
Samuel: who did you fight with
David: I fought Anita, a female
friend in class two
Samuel: hopeless situation, anyways,
have you killed before?
David: yes I have, I killed a lizard
just yesterday
Samuel: you are even hopeless than
your other brothers but I will anoint you like that. if the giant kills you,
remember I didn’t have faith in you ( so he anoints him).
Samuel: Jesse, I am done.
Jesse: ok old man, thank you ee.
Scene 2
On stage is Goliath with his sword
waiting for David. David appears with his catapult.
Goliath: hey small boy, what are you
looking for, you dey look for your mommy?
David: I am David and I am here to
kill you.
Goliath: with a catapult? Hahahaha
David: kw333 Buuuluu
Goliath: obuumona, I will kill you
and feed you to my dogs, you be small children
David: hey goliath, me ago kill you
like lizard, ago give you pound for pound, kpa to kpa to kpa and the people
here will enjoy
Goliath: me I fight for the land of
thousand demons, you, you I say you be small children. What experience you get.
Go chop your mommy food.
David: you are afraid, am not going
anywhere. I get chaoow experience pass you. Today you have meet your
meeter. me I travel plenty and I fight
plenty( they begin the fight) David rolls his catapult and goliath is down
Goliath: today I go beating you
mayamaya
David: the self-acclaimed mighty man
is down, hw3 nitsi kesie bi, empty calabash can not sink in water and a man can
not be careful less he wear white shirt and drives a white car. This tells dat,
every painter no be painter.
( so people come in and carry goliath
away)…..
THE END
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